Hey! Just a norm day, guys – me, Chole, the brainy dachshund. Accidentally found a secret trapdoor in East Bulldog Bay leading to a canine wonderland with gourmet meal and grooming options. Played hide and seek with Mr. Squeaky at Pooch Playhouse, all fun until we realized we missed home. The takeaway? There’s no lap like a master’s for a good nap. Remember, what happens in Pawsburg, doesn’t always stay in Pawsburg. Woof-out, Chole-Dogholmes!

Listen to the story here

Okay, picture this. You know me, Chole – I am the dachshund with the good hair, great personality and the high satiety quotient for chicken, accustomed to the usual Pawsburg drill.

There we were, soaking up the typical Tuesday afternoon sun at East Bulldog Bay, when I spotted something unusual. As the sun sunk lazily into the horizon, painting soft pinks and golds across Pawsburg, Max and Sandy were busy reveling in their immature but amusing game of tag, oblivious to the surprising discovery.

We’d stumbled upon a metallic trapdoor, cunningly hidden beneath the layers of sand. Being the canine genius I am, I deduced it couldn’t be a coincidence that a door this techy suddenly appeared in a dog-eat-dog world. For a moment, the hidden treasure or the top-secret spy stuff theories were enticing, but let’s be real, we’re dogs, our ultimate desire is food, play, and belly rubs. Intrigue hung heavy in the salty air as curious sniffs and puzzled woofs echoed across the bay.

Much to the consternation of the aforementioned canine companions, I decided we’d play ‘Sherlock Bones’ (Kudos to my wit, thank you). “Pipe down, pups. Let’s dig up some secrets, but I swear to dog, if it’s a stash of celery, I’m out,” I warned my co-conspirators, our portrayed gloom swiftly replaced by wide-eyed canine curiosity.

We nosed our way through Eastern White Westie Woods, the verdant heart of our beloved Pawsburg, weaving through the labyrinths made by mighty oaks and slender birches. The derelict trap door led us to an extensive network of underground tunnels, inspired no doubt by my great ancestors’ famed burrowing skills.

Now, this is where the story gets a Mindy Kaling twist – the whole place was a buffet! Not the messy leftovers kinds, but a ‘Bone Appetit’, ‘Bark and Bites’, and ‘Dog-gone Good BBQ,’ level gourmet spread that could set any tail wagging madly. Did I mention the chic setups of the Pampered Pooch Salon where you could get fur-fab or the Pawfect Training Center that held promenade dance classes?

Hook line and sinker, we were pulled into this West Pet World amusement park. Pooch Playhouse was my favorite. I could play dozens of versions of hide and seek with Mr. Squeaky and never lose him. Plus, the thunderstorm-themed horror house? Not my bowl of kibble.

But, before we turn into bonehead dogs blindly chasing our tails in this Westwoof-esque codswallop, remember this. Every dog must have his day, but at the end of it all, it’s the master’s lap we yearn to curl up on. This Pawsburg-worthy adventure, Susan’s love and loads of chicken is all my heart seeks. Live life by the leash, and hold onto it – that’s my motto, the “Unwritten Dog Rules 101.”

Well, my furry friends, sniff you later because this Dachshund diva needs her beauty sleep. Today’s scoop? “Tails of the Unexpected!” Just remember – what happens in Pawsburg doesn’t always stay in Pawsburg.

The End.