“Hey mom, wild day in Spencerville! Drink in the drama: all ham’s vanished from Fetching Deli – talk about hamageddon! Big scandal, and everyone’s freaking out. Tracked a breadcrumb trail to Chip, that cheeky retriever. Caught him red-pawed, but the sly dog tossed our ham into the river! Massive bummer, but stay strong. This ‘Ginger-strong’ ain’t giving up. Promise to crack the case of the missing ham. All paws on deck, right? Love, GingerStrong.”

Listen to the story here

“One fine morning, as the golden Spencerville sun woke from its slumber, I found myself loitering about our beloved Toy Shihtzu homeland. Metaphor be my witness, I was struck by the fervent ripples on Labrador Lake. Unexpected uproarious hypothesizing echoed in my ears, originating from our four-legged compatriots. I went around, the black sprinkled coat of mine glistening and white belly swaying with each gallant step, sniffing out the peculiar occurrences in our usually peaceful haunt.

Now, mind you, I ain’t no tail wagging socializer with a heart for others. Quite the obverse, I cherished my solitude – a trait that today, proved beneficial. Venturing towards the rumored hubbub at The Fetching Deli, my nose twitched with discomfort at the calamitous assembly of my peers, yapping and yowling about the unexplained disappearance of deli ham. Lord, the enormity of the matter! A calamity of unseen proportions in this ham-loving utopia.

The Cat’s Meow Sushi ain’t my cup of tea. Seafood be suggestions of the devil to my palate and the nearest ocean a journey in the belly of the iron beast too much for my hammering heart. But these mishaps of ham had maddened me, and there was no ways of turning back.

I marched on, avoiding the unseemliness of the Woof and Whisker Crowd heading towards the Wellness Center. Sniffing for clues, I came across something. A trail of crumbs, leading to the outskirts of Spencerville. Lord, give me strength to brave the frosty air. Bellowing a sigh, I plodded on, the sight of the Fawn Cream Maltese Meadow inflaming my fiery spirit.

Towards the enormous Southern Golden Retriever River my pursuit led. And lo, what to my wandering eyes should emerge but a familiar face, clutching our beloved ham. It was Chip, that rascally scallawag retriever, grinning like a Cheshire cat. Relief washed over me. Our ham was safe!

“Chip!” I barked, my voice echoing across the riverside. He looked up, the ham forgotten. “In the name of Spencerville, return what ain’t rightly yours.”

Mischief replaced surprise in his eyes, an ill-formed chuckle, echoing across the quiet scenery. He tossed the ham into the river, grinning like an imp as my heart sunk into the pit of my stomach. Ah, the sorrow of it!

Dejected, I trudged back to town, my mission a failure. Yet, as I approached our ham-lamenting crowd, a newfound determination flared within me. This isn’t over, not by a long shot. And as Icon of Spencerville, I had a responsibility to my boot-stomping, tail-wagging brethren. As long as I walk these streets, an oath was sworn; The Mystery of the Missing Ham would be solved.”

The End.