“Steered the Biscuit Enterprise through alien Shih Tzus totting carrot weapons, till a random teleport brought me to a chicken gravy Popsicle at Pupsicle Palace, a bath at the Dapper Dog Salon and back into the pilot seat with my football remote. Navigated Pawsburg space with debonair charm while avoiding veggie monsters. Ended the day exhausted but with the Woofy Bakery in sight; just another day in the life of your adventurous, parsnip-fearing Wally Bear.”

Listen to the story here.

Here I am, Wally Bear, Captain of the ‘Biscuit Enterprise’, boldly steering her through the mysterious realms of the Pawsburg Universe. Well, at least until my humans fall asleep or head out. Then, oh. boy! Teleport me straight to Pawsburg, if you please! It’s such an adventure, just imagine telling your canine buddies at the Chow Hound Café about the rigours of space exploration! And, yes the word ‘Enterprise’ is no coincidence. This journey started with my favorite chewed-up football, which somehow doubled as a remote controller for the starship. Don’t ask how it happened. Starship tech support’s still working on that one.

Let’s start the engines and dive into another episode of this cosmic comedy.

I arrived at Collie Canyon where a horde of alien Shih Tzus was advancing with weapons that looked awful lot like…raw carrots. As they closed in on me, their strange version of a battle cry ringing through the canyon, “Bow wow, raw carrot power!”. A chill ran down my spine, visions of those abhorrent orange crunchies haunting me.

Laughing at my obvious discomfort, a brindle friend of mine, Dash, called from the Husky hill, “Oye, Wally! Them alien veggie sticks… they got ya jumpy?” A bit of laughter echoed down the hill. I muttered indignantly, “Laugh it up, Dash. Someday they’ll invent an alien zucchini army!”

Just as things started looking grim – and super healthy – there was a sudden whirl and a blink of light. We were teleported to Westie Woods, as random acts of teleportation tend to happen in this story. The greenery was a welcome sight, the smell… Wait! I knew this smell!

“Welcome to Pupsicle Palace!” beamed a familiar poodlesque voice. And just like that, I was licking the tastiest puppy-licious Popsicle in the galaxy – a chicken gravy one! Post pop-licking, I trotted to the Dapper Dog Salon for a quick bath and fluff. Looking handsome, feeling brave, I returned to the Biscuit Enterprise to take on the carrot-totting aliens with a debonair charm only I could possess.

The Starship tech had fixed the old football controller, and I shrewdly maneuvered the ‘Biscuit Enterprise,’ waving my paw to my pals in the Doggie Daycare. The day’s exploration was both terrifying and ticklish, leaving me utterly pooped. With the sight of the Woofy Bakery in distance, I knew my mission was coming to an end.

Navigating through veggie aliens, devouring Popsicles, and bathing at light speed… Just another day in the life of Wally Bear; the intrepid, parsnip-fearing pooch of the Pawsburg starfleet.

The End.