“Hey Ma, tail-wagging day! Saw a tantrum, snubbed watermelons, savored Pup-Peroni, shared tales, resisted cat’s swim party, and woke alone. All good though, found the gang at Bark Burgers. Woof ya! – Gus the Destroyer”

Listen to the story here.

One fine Spencerville morning, I was standing at Pup-Peroni’s, awaiting my customary oatmeal cream pie – a strange selection, some might think, for a canine of my English pedigree, but then again, I’ve never been one for dogma.

Through the window, I spotted a tiny human in the throes of a whiney tantrum outside The Tail Wagger’s Tailor, resembling the tantrums of a vacuum cleaner, which I’ve always viewed as an unappealing contraption. Very much like watermelon. Who would decipher the charm in squishy, pinkish matter? Though, they say, opposites attract, I, Gus, failed to appreciate the duo.

And so that day went on, with me mainly keen on the setting sun as it meant the opening hours of my favorite; Pupperoni Pizza, the scent of which enticing my bulldog senses in the most unforgiving fashion. I love the pizzas there– they canvas the air with zesty aroma every time a door swings open, as I spend my evening listening to stories spun by fellow Spencervillians, usually ferrets and salamanders, who’ll have you know, make the best of raconteurs.

Each story stirs the pot of my curiosity, a window directly into the lives of fellow domesticated explorers. I often notice the forlorn eyes of my newly-arrived shaggy companions as they drift towards the Siberian Summit, part of me sharing their longing to see their human friends. “Oh! It’s not so bad, you get used to it. Plus, you have me”, I reassure and share tales about my own adventures in Brown Boxer Beach, how I found my very first Beanbone there, hiding behind a mini dune.

Endlessly nudged by curiosity, I’ve found myself in various uncomfortable positions, including, the inside of a cardboard box – an ordinary adventurer’s hat I fancied- while children swarmed around me pursuing an invisible object, their loud joyous banter drilling through my ears, reminding me of the sheer horror of ear cleaning sessions.

Today, the cheeky cat at The Fetching Feline Pet Emporium tempted me to join a swimming bash at Spotted Red Beagle Beach. “Oh no dear! Swimming and I don’t see eye to eye”, I declined politely. I’d rather suffer through a vet visit than be lured into a clear blue expanse of mandatory physical activity.

And for all that bravado, I woke up today alone.

Alone? Alas! The last shreds of sleep evacuated promptly as the reality dawned. But just then, a whiff of fresh Pup-Peroni reached my ears. With a sniff and a skip, I bolted towards Bark Burgers – surely, my rowdy, lovely, loyal Spencerville family couldn’t have started the day without yours truly? It was just impossible.

The End.