“Hey mom, guess what? Another wild day in Pawsburg – Got accused of pork ear theft, run-in with the law, ended up in the dog shelter. But no worries, managed a sly escape with the gang. Now, dining on my well-earned drumstick. Who needs calm when you’ve got adventure? – Thiccums”

Listen to the story here.

Sure, I was in Pawsburg again, the mecca of canine dreams. You know, the place where dogs sneak off to when their owners are asleep or out of their realm. Yeah, right. Just your regular Joe Shmoe dog. That’s me, Mugsy. And I was on my hoop for sure, tug-of-war style.

Some say I’ve got a stubborn streak. Say it’s a Bulldog thing. Alibi schmalibi, that’s what I say. I was just in the middle of prancing about Maltese Meadow, with that cow hoof in my mouth when Chichi, Shmu, Bandit, Minnie Pearl, and Ice, my band of comrades, pulled up.

And, just when I thought I’d have a quiet day at ‘The Bark Shak’ munching on a drumstick in peace, I spotted a vacuum cleaner in the corner. The DAMN vacuum cleaners! They always sneak up on you like uncalled guests when you’re about to have a feast.

Suddenly it was like the ground beef vanished right under my snout as the charmingly disastrous day in Pawsburg continued. Couldn’t a Bulldog catch a break in his own town? But, my day was about to get undeniably worse. Out of the blue, I was wrongfully accused of swiping all the pork ears from ‘Bark and Bites’.

Seriously? Me, an innocent bystander turned into a runaway, fleeing from the authorities like a greyhound with a jetpack. Yeah! Because it’s just far too normal to relax on the shores of Beagle Beach without having to worry about a petty crime you didn’t commit.

Seward, the local Collie was on my tail like a hungry flea. He cornered me at The Dapper Dog Salon, all huffy-puffy. “Mugsy, you’re nicked!” he barked, sticking his snout up as if he had just won a poker game.

“Come off it, Seward! Really? Seems all your time in Collie Canyon has given you delusions!” I laughed.

Before I knew it, barbershop to animal shelter, one minute I’m under the hair dryer, the next I’m behind bars. Great, just peachy. But little did they know, I had my grand escape planned. From the inside of the shelter, I caught a whiff of their weakness. Intriguing weed, you say?

I had to admit, it was a bit trickier than tug-of-war. But my paw pals were with me; all we had to trust were the whispers through the rusty grill. And so, the pet break was in full swing, a fluffy flurry of jailbirds soaring across Pawsburg.

Laughing at the absurdity of my life, clutching my stolen (okay, NOW stolen) delicious drumstick, I thought, “Who needs a desert adventure when I’ve got Pawsburg?”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was just another day in the life of Mugsy, American Bulldog, and unintentional connoisseur of thrilling misadventures. Told you, bulldogs are stubborn!

The End.