- Dog Tales
- June 17, 2023
Kirby PawWord Story
Hey mom, it’s Kirb! I time-traveled w/ pals to Victorian London! At fancy garden, ate frozen yogurt, found a purple dino & had Dr. Who-style adventures. Barked @ squirrels. Douglas Adams’ humor guided us. Miss u, but the heart will lead us home. Adventuring till then, love Sugar-face 🐾
Listen to the story here.
There I was, Kirby the English bulldog, standing in the heart of Spencerville, attempting to wrap my head around the role I was about to play in the grand Time-Traveling Pets extravaganza. I knew I had to be brave, protective, and intelligent, and I could only hope my love for goldfish crackers wouldn’t get in the way.
As I pondered how barking at squirrels fit into the overarching narrative, the unmistakably inviting scent of Bow Wow Burgers graced my nostrils. With my stomach growling as vigorously as my bark, I sashayed past numerous boutiques and eateries, including The Canine Cafe and The Pawfect Training Center, before fatefully bumping into a few close friends of mine.
“Kirby, old chap!” exclaimed Baxter, a gallant Golden Retriever and apparent aficionado of British culture. “Have you heard? The time-traveling pet crew is gathering at Northern Choco Chihuahua Castle this very evening! Perhaps we could get front row seats to witness their adventures through the cosmos!”
“Intriguing, but how would that affect our human-like existence in Spencerville?” I contemplated aloud, concerned about our nearly perfect life.
“Don’t worry, my dear Kirby,” interjected Luna, a mysteriously eloquent Siamese cat. “Time-traveling pets like us can always return to Spencerville right where we left off.”
With a sense of curiosity and camaraderie, we ventured into the depths of Northern Choco Chihuahua Castle, where time and space seemed to blur and warp as brilliantly as an episode from ‘Doctor Who.’ There, standing before us, was our noble vessel – a suspiciously ordinary-looking pet water fountain.
As we each took a sip from the magical fountain, the world shrank around us, and we suddenly found ourselves in the opulent Golden Gate Gardens, smack in the middle of Victorian London. I hummed to myself in surprise, embracing the shock and surrealism of Dr. Who meets surrealism meets canine companionship.
“We must locate a purple dinosaur in this time period,” declared Luna, and I wiggled with excitement as I recalled a similarly hued toy from my past.
Eager to locate the elusive object, we meandered through cobblestone streets until we stumbled upon Yappy Yogurt, an ancient Victorian frozen yogurt parlor that intrigued us more than what was seemingly plausible. I mean, frozen yogurt, in the 19th Century? What were the odds? But, there it was, complete with goldfish crackers and no bananas in sight.
Delighted beyond comprehension, we sauntered in, and as I feasted on a delectable bowl of fishy flavors, we were overcome by a wave of joy as the purple dinosaur from my dreams appeared right before our very eyes! With a sharp twist of its tail, we were whisked away into another adventure where the past and the future became one, guided by the hilarious prose of Douglas Adams, who filled our journey with laughter and wit.
As we traveled, our stories only grew more absurd, more comedic, and more Spencerville-esque. We lived out epic adventures, conquered fears (yes, even baths), and reminisced about the lovely land that we chose to call home. It became clear our purpose was to explore the cosmos, to be daring and intelligent – and, of course, barking at squirrels whenever necessary.
Someday, we would return to our beloved Spencerville, to be reunited with our owners, who we missed dearly. We knew this to be true because devotion knows no time or distance, and the heart always returns home. Until that day, we continued our time-traveling escapades, forever seeking the wonder and excitement of the universe. For, after all, in the style of Douglas Adams, isn’t that what being a storytelling, sitcom-style, time-traveling pet is all about?
The End.
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