- Dog Tales
- December 31, 2023
Pawsburgh: A Barkingly Delicious Caper: A Mattie PawWord Story
Hey Mom,
Guess what? Your little fish just swam through the biggest caper in Pawsburgh! 😎 Joined a fur-raising heist for the most heavenly hush-hush hot sauce recipe. Partnered with Gizmo and outfoxed tails thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. Ended in a wet and wild escape but snagged glory (and the secret sauce!). Home safe, with a new tale for the Puppy Chronicles. 🐾
Licks and wags,
Mattie
Here’s the thing about Pawsburgh – it’s not always the tail-wagging paradise you might think, not when there’s a caper involved. And I, Mattie, found myself with four paws deep in the latest howl of trouble.
You wouldn’t think a Chihuahua like me, dark brown fur like a late-night coffee brew would be up for a heist, right? But, oh – fate’s got a funny way of chasing its tail. So here I am, sitting in Quartz Qimmiq Quarter, scoping out Doggone Deli because rumor has it, there’s a secret recipe for Shepherd’s Shawarma’s special sauce hidden within those walls, seducing taste buds like a belly rub from Poseidon himself. I mean, why wouldn’t I want in?
It was a wet Wednesday when it all went down, the kind of day I’d usually spend sunbathing in the backyard – safe, common – but some hunch told me Gizmo was on to something. He whispered about it, his wire-haired mustache twitching like he had static in his soul. “Organized crime,” he said, “is just unorganized crime with a collar on.”
His plan – sneaky and bold like a spaniel’s snout where it doesn’t belong – was to jimmy open a window with the agility of a cat-burglar, though no cat would ever find solace here, not in a dog’s town. We were up to our dewclaws in danger. I wondered if we’d get to taste victory or if we’d be salivating over defeat.
The getaway was simple, right into the paws of Terrier Town where the sharp angles of buildings hid secrets like a bone buried in the backyard. The rehearsed lines came back to me, a mantra: “Get in, find the secret, get out.” Over those simple words I’d trod as carefully as over a sleeping human’s stomach – silent, meticulous. But my heart, it was the decibel of a snare drum abused by a jazz quartet.
Gizmo was muscle, I was the eyes. The plan seemed simple – rendezvous with a pug named Percy at Dog’s Delicacies, right before the clock struck midnight madness. Now, Percy, he knew a guy who knew a guy, who slept on the bed of the chef who created that celestial sauce.
In the gloom, the dim light from Fetch! Toys and Treats bounced off my white spot, casting a ghostly signal. Back alley deals smell like wet fur and desperation. There, in whispers and pants, Percy handed me a napkin: the hieroglyphs of the recipe scrawled across it like instructions for defusing a bomb.
We were in too deep, Gizmo and I – embroiled in a world more tangled than a leash on a brisk morning walk. The great escape was soured with the bitter tang of lemon cookies, chased from Quartz Qimmiq Quarter to Pointer Pier with the scent of hot pursuit stinging our nostrils.
And you know I hate water, but that night, every splash against the pier felt like a slobbering tongue to the face of fear. Our paws tapped Morse code apologies to the wood below as we made for the safe shadows. By the time we nudged our way into Pet Partners Pet Supplies, hiding amongst the squeaky toys, I almost laughed at the absurdity.
But we did it, tail between our legs, safe – until next time, because Pawsburgh promises one thing: there’s always a next time, an adventure to sniff out. It’s the kind of place where a tiny Chihuahua with an affinity for roast beef can cross tail paths with the crime of the culinary kind, and yet it’s home.
You’d think I made this up, wouldn’t you? So I’ll riddle you this: Why would I, Mattie, with a white spot like a star on my paw, a road warrior both valiant and fleeting, a protector of the backyard realm, bother with fiction? No, dear friend, only in Pawsburgh do the moonstruck tales of one small dog become the legends lapped up by the many.
The End.
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