“Hey Ma, got tangled up at the local shelter. They said I stole a toy, but I was just helping Anna with her paw! Miss my pal Moosey, tried to replace him at the bakery but they ran outta pigs. Just my luck, eh? This place is as welcoming as a vacuum cleaner. Keep the pork steak warm! Hugs, Ralphie the Super Lurcher.”

Listen to the story here

“Alright, alright, back it up. I know what you’re thinking, how did Ralphie, the cream of the Spencerville crop, end up behind bars at the animal shelter? Hey don’t look at me, pal – it was a beautiful sun-dappled day in Spencerville, I woke up to the salty sea breeze of Beagle Beach…inkling of innocent nonchalance!”

“My gastronomic venture started pleasantly – a well-cooked pork steak at Bark and Bites, my favorite joint. Nothing uncanny about that, till Moosey got swiped. You see, Moosey’s a second appendage of mine and the presence feels…” The air lightens, “Lost. That’s how I ironically, felt. Sun didn’t shine as bright, the pork…just didn’t taste the same without Moosey.”

“You know they say, one can replace a toy, try telling that to a Greyhound! It feels like replacing a bad film with another one. Distinctly unfulfilling! So, I sauntered down to The Woofy Bakery, another haunt, to replace Moosey with another.”

“We’ve got two problems here now. No one hears a Greyhound’s existential crisis, let alone a dog’s sorrow about a stuffed pig. Second, The Woofy Bakery ran outta stuffed pigs! I ask you, as a dog in good standing in society, how does an esteemed establishment just run out of stuffed pigs!”

“Anyway, there I was, slurping a complimentary beverage, feeling a low, reminiscent of baths, vacuum cleaners, and broccoli…when the luck of a lonesome Greyhound finally turned. Little Anna, that adorable Yorkshire terrier lady sitting near, got her paw stuck in a chew toy! I stepped in, gracefully extricated it, and Voila! Hero of the hour.”

“But before you know it, good turn got twisted into an artful theft, and canine hero was turned into a purloining suspect. Unbelievable! So here I am, surrounded by stray mutts wearing tags of ‘catch of the day’. And me? I’m just a Greyhound with a penchant for Bark Bites, who had one bad day.”

“Yes, It’s a classic case of the wrong dog at the wrong time, story as old as kibble itself. But worry not, Spencerville could run out of pork steak, and the world could run out of stuffed pigs, but I ain’t going nowhere…” I sigh, pawing the cold bars, “After all, Graeme, Luna, and Benjie need their Ralphie back. Keep the steak warm, Spencerville…your hero’s story has only begun!”

The End.