“Hey dad, took a trip to Pawsburg. Fido took my fav monkey; not cool. So, I hatched a plan with Bake & Lilly to get it back. Sent Fido off to the dreaded vet. (LOL) Victory never tasted sweeter. Got my monkey back, celebrated with a feast at the Barkery. Another day in Wonka’s world. Woof-woof! – Wonkavator”

Listen to the story here.

We’ve all heard of Pawsburg, right? That canine city of dreams where dogs sneak off to, everyone has their own eccentricities. For most, it’s an escape, but for me, Willie Wonka, it’s personal.

Now settle in; I have quite a story.

Every sunrise, while the humans lay nestled in their warm beds, I venture to Pawsburg. The kind of place where the Southern Golden Retriever River sparkles in the morning sun, where the Boxer Beach is more welcoming than the most comfortable dog bed, and the Spotted Red Beagle Beach, well, let’s say it’s not for the faint-hearted , like those city noises I despise.

I have rules, naturally. Rule number one: no onions or shrimp. Rule number two: no stealing another dog’s toys. Regrettably, rules aren’t universal.

Enter Fido, the pomposity of an Alsatian, believes he owns Pawsburg. Last Friday, Fido broke rule number two. Yes, my beloved monkey, the one I cherish above all else, taken, whisked away by that pompous mutt.

Deplorable.

It was time for a visit to Pup-Peroni, and drowning my sorrows in a vanilla ice cream seemed fitting. Although heartbroken, the thought of sweet revenge churned inside me, more delicious than any ice cream.

What followed was a master plan. Lure Fido to The Doggie Daycare, and Spa for Paws, conveniently near to the dreaded vet. Albeit risky, with the help of Bake and Lilly, it was a risk worth taking.

The plan was in motion. We barked, hollered, and wagged our tails to draw Fido. Intrigued, Fido pranced towards us. “What’s all the noise about?” He growled, eyes fixated on us.

Bake pretended to find a chew stick near the spa’s entrance, drawn in by his greed, Fido rushed in. The alarmed spa staff, thinking he was a patient, packed him off to the vet next door.

That’s what we call sweet revenge, my dear humans.

That evening, safe and sound, my monkey back with me, I treated myself and my accomplices to a feast at The Barkery. The candles twinkled, the music flowed, and the smell of cheesburgers filled the air.

It had been a day, a day in the life of your ordinary English Bulldog carrying out extraordinary adventures. A day that’ll go down in Pawsburg history, and my life.

Tomorrow? Another day, another story, my friends. For now, peace reigns in our canine paradise once more.⸺ Willie Wonka

The End.