Hey Ma and Pa, it’s been a riot today! Woke up to my favorite Bark Burger, tore through Westie Woods scaring squirrels, then straight to Bow Wow Bistro where I swapped my sirloin for marrowbone. Made a scene at Pawfect Training, then won Tug of War at Happy Hounds. Rounded off with Pupperoni Pizza and now snoozing in my fave chair. Get ready Pawsburg, because tomorrow, there’s more Trucker coming at ya! – Stinky Bum.

Listen to the story here.

The sun mustered up another cinereal dawn over Pawsburg, the dog-friendly borough that smelled oddly of French fries and dreams. Old Mr. Truck, the indestructible bulldog with a heart full of mischief, was already up, wreaking havoc with typical panache.

The alarm sounded, not a typical cure-the-insomnia ring, but an invitation akin to an open banquet, a reminder – it’s Bark Burger time. Pawing through the debris of his sleeping oats and with a wag of approval, Mr. Truck, with a spring in his step, barreled down for breakfast, sans the doggy door.

Now, some might call Mr. Truck’s speed ‘doggedly slow’. “But mind,” he’d bark, “quality requires no time limit.” He’d bit into his Bark Burger, finishing in a whirlwind of crumbs powered by his “eat anything” ethos, and a wonderful disregard for the idea of ‘you can’t eat that.’

With his belly satiated – or at least asleep – Mr. Truck took a languid journey to the Westie Woods. Here, his bulldog bravado turned into a Critics’ Choice nominee, terrifying innocent squirrels, with acting chops sharper than his teeth, courtesy his deflated basketball in tow. His playfully loving expression twisting into a comical grimace, eliciting chuckles from even the glummest of spectators.

Picture this. Mr. Truck, our hero, bouncing ominously like an overinflated Beetle (Oh! the irony…) as he terrorizes Westie Woods’ biodiversity, while other dogs chase their tails. Can you feel the comedy? Good. Because Mr. Truck lives for the applause, even when his antics are as deflated as his beloved toy.

Post-havoc, a lunch date loomed at the Bow Wow Bistro. A cabernet sirloin, medium-rare with a side of wild greens awaited, but Mr. Truck, the culinary rebel that he was, cheerily opted for a crunchy marrowbone. Here, Barker the baker failed miserably, trying to slip Mr. Truck a mug of Doggie Ale. The bulldog would have none of it, choosing to wash down his meal with spring water, thank you very much.

A post-prandial walk to the Pawfect Training Center seemed fitting, maybe even decipher the enigma of the impenetrable ear cleaner. Turns out, no mysteries unveiled – thanks to the cunning deployment of that underbite, the ear cleaner fled the scene, leaving chaos echoing laughter in its wake.

Next up, a reunion at the Happy Hounds Dog Walking. A spur-of-a-moment tug-of-war, starring Mr. Truck, vs Sister Sadie, Loki, Nugget, Barker, Albert, and Ridley – oh, what a sight. Dominion declared? Mr. Truck, naturally. Cue the laugh track when Barker, the loser, falls into an innocent pond, accusations barking at our unapologetic Truck.

The evening unrolled in Pupperoni Pizza. The owners already armed with a stash of sweet potato chews, indulged Mr. Truck’s tastes, and weaved around his choice of beverage. Mr. Truck settled for a comfortable snooze in a soft armchair at the corner, dreaming of next day’s adventures, unfazed by Burly Albert’s yapping about how the dog park is the place to be.

In a town that runs on canine time, where misadventure is as common as the wagging of tails, Mr. Truck reigns as a mindful paragon of entertaining chaos. His day may have ended, but his legend was just beginning to wag. And God save Pawsburg, because tomorrow, the Truck would be back on the road.

The End.